The Jaegers
Sunday, October 5, 2014
A Rant About Food Blogs & A Recipe for a Smoothie
1 to 1 1/2 scoops Chocolate Protein
1 to 1 1/2 Very Ripe Bananas, peeled and completely frozen
1 to 2 cups Milk (almond, soy, rice, or otherwise)
3/4 cups Yogurt
1 Tbls Coconut Oil
1/8 Tsp Salt
Add all ingredients to blender. Blend. Enjoy.
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I have hitherto resisted the urge to add a recipe to our family blog. Food blogs annoy me greatly. First, I have never found a food blog that actually loves food more than stupid, pointless pictures. When you open up a recipe, you don't actually see a recipe, but instead an excerpt from someone's personal diary and page after page of pictures of the ingredients, measuring apparatus, mixing bowls, spoons, and the finished product from every imaginable angle and with every filter on their camera phone. If it takes me more than a minute to scroll down to the actual recipe, I know it isn't going to be worth the time to make.
I have a whole shelf full of cookbooks from legit, amazing chefs. But I have never once seen a recipe from the likes of Joel Robuchon or Thomas Keller that needed a picture of what a cracked egg looks like. Or what a baking dish looks like before and after applying non-stick spray.
Second, there is no qualification needed to authour a food blog, and it is apparent that most food blog authours have no qualifications as a chef. If you have spent any real time cooking, it becomes apparent that most food blog recipes are riddled with inconsistencies, errors, contradictions, and the like.
Anyway, there is my rant.
As far as the recipe, just a few notes: This is a wonderful way to make use of overly-ripe bananas. I let them get very dark, peal them, bag them, and allow them to freeze for at least 24 hours. I like to use frozen bananas in smoothies because it gives the sweetness and texture that you would expect from using ice cream or sorbet, but is decidedly more healthy.
I recommend using Greek yogurt in this recipe. The texture is very nice and it has a lot of protein in comparison to other types. One thing that you will notice when using Greek yogurt is that when you pull out the container the second time, a slightly yellowish liquid will have seeped out of the yogurt. Don't throw that out! That is the whey and it has a lot of the protein. Also, don't buy the non-fat type. Non-fat stuff is evil. (I'll be making a blog post about that in the near future)
Coconut oil is the darling of the health food world these days. I have been taking it for a while now, and am convinced of its worth. I don't won't to go into the details here, but Google it and you will find a large number of articles explaining its uses. Coconut oil is much easier to integrate in an application like this if it is melted first. I would avoid using the microwave. What I do is place the jar of coconut oil in a hot water bath. It will melt within just a few minutes. If you don't have coconut oil on hand, I have also used a tablespoon of peanut butter. Adding a bit of fat really rounds out the flavour of the smoothie.
Don't leave out the salt! Salt doesn't make sweet foods salty, it makes them taste better.
So there's the recipe. I'm not going to put up any pictures. I am sure that you know what a banana or a blender looks like. And making a smoothie is not like baking a souffle for Le Cirque. If you want a thicker smoothie, use less milk. If you want a thinner smoothie, use more. Don't have chocolate protein powder, use vanilla, etc. Feel free to adapt and experiment.
Indoor Cycling Guide (Plus some product reviews)
and my very anal cycling spreadsheet.
Now, I realize that for a legit, competitive cyclist 10,000 miles isn't all that much. But for someone like me who has never been all that interested in anything other than casual exercise, it is still a very proud moment. To add a little bit of context, 10,000 miles is about the distance from my home in Orem to Key West, FL and back twice.
Actually, a very large amount of that total was spent on an indoor bike trainer. While that doesn't sound as exciting as whizzing down the canyon at 40 mph past beautiful scenery and much slower joggers, it has been a very successful endeavor. And there have been very definite reasons that I decided to make the change to a trainer.
First, the cycling season in Utah is actually not that long. Between the months of extreme cold, sleet, and snow on the one hand, and oppressive heat on the other, my part of the world only offers a few months of good riding weather. Further more, the only good bit of trail is often clogged with runners and long boarders who have not even the slightest idea that other people would like to share the path with them. It also runs along the south side of a major road for a number of miles. This means that you must approach every intersection with great caution as drivers only seem to pay attention to traffic coming from the opposite direction.
One early morning a rather inconsiderate driver (a young female BYU student) plowed through a red light without looking to see if anyone was coming. (Yes it was a BYU student; she was coming out of a parking lot for a BYU building at Freedom and Canyon; but I have made a promise to my wife to lay off the derisive comments about BYU, so I'll say no more) I soon realized that no matter how dire the situation, it is impossible to get your clips out of the pedals fast enough to save your life. I was lucky enough to miss being smeared across the front of her car by a couple of inches and was able to finish the ride.
All of these factors meant that as it was getting close to winter I decided to seek out an indoor bike trainer. I have liked it so much that it has become my defacto method of training. Of course, there are many benefits aside from avoiding the problems that I have mentioned. Your work outs are extremely consistent. You can train any time of the day and regardless of the weather, it's easier to fit a ride into your schedule, it's easier to incorporate Interval Training, and so on.
It has been about two years, and I feel like I have learned a lot. So, if you are thinking about getting a trainer to stay in shape over the off-season or to avoid the reckless BYU students that are everywhere these days, I've compiled a comprehensive guide to help get started.
The Trainer (Required)
This is obviously going to be the most important part of your indoor training regimen. There are several different types, but they all use a pretty similar set up. There is a frame that supports the bike. The rear tire sits on a metal cylinder called a roller. The roller is then connected to some apparatus that provides resistance. The trainers differ from one another chiefly in what provides this resistance.
At the most basic, there is the air-resistance trainer. In this example the roller is connected to one or two fans (usually they look like high-tech turbines). The basic idea is that as you pedal, the turbines spin and create drag. The faster you pedal, the faster the turbines spin, and the more resistance is generated. This sounds great in theory, especially since these trainers are very affordable, but the reality is that you never get enough resistance, and it feels nothing like regular road-bound cycling. The other draw back is that the damn things vibrate incessantly and make enough noise to irritate every neighbour you have within a three-block radius. While I haven't tried all of them, my experience is that air-resistance trainers aren't worth the little money that you pay for them.
The next step up is the magnetic resistance trainer. From the name you can easily infer what provides the resistance. These are still not all that expensive and offer much better and consistent resistance without making your neighbours hate you. Some makes are better than others, but I'm still not completely sold on them. The resistance doesn't feel terribly road-like. With the other types of trainers, the resistance gradually increases the harder you pedal. With magnetic trainers, you kind of just dial in how much resistance you want and stick with it. There is also a limit to how hard you can push them. If you are standing up and doing a hard sprint you run the risk of breaking the magnetic bond, sending you lurching forward and crashing headlong onto your living room floor.
The next step up is the fluid trainer. These are actually fairly similar to the air-resistance trainers. But in the case of the fluid trainer the turbine is enclosed in a metal housing, which is filled with a silcone-based liquid. These are a major improvement, in that the resistance is much more realistic to what you get on a road. But they are not without their drawbacks.
First, fluid trainers are catastrophically expensive. High-end models, such as Kirt Kinetic or some by Tacx can exceed $1,000. The second problem is heat. Bike trainers generate a lot of heat. The friction by the tire against the roller and the turbine moving through the silicone create problems (I'll deal with the problem of the heat with the roller in the next section). As the fluid in the metal housing heats up, its viscosity changes, and the resistance decreases. Fluid trainers also have the propensity to leak, creating a whole host of problems.
The trainer that I currently use is an inertial trainer made by Wisconsin-based 1 UP USA. I'm really not trying to make a heavy-handed product promotion, but their trainers are freaking awesome! First, it is a really high-quality product. It is very simple to mount the bike, the roller is very large (this reduces wear on the tires), and it generates resistance in a very novel way. The roller is connected to a large, 6lb block of aluminium. It is trying to get this chunk of metal moving that generates resistance. The company claims that it offers the most realistic, road-like feel of any trainer. If you can bike 20mph on the road, you will bike 20mph on this trainer. Do I believe them? Yes, I do.
The are some drawbacks. It is somewhat expensive. Brand new, expect to pay around $300. It is also fairly heavy. And that 6lb piece of aluminium makes for a sure fire way to mangle your ankle bone if you aren't careful when you are moving it.
Those problems aside, it is an amazing bit of kit. It is definitely the one that I recommend.
Trainer Tire (Required)
When I first started with the trainer, I simply hooked up my bike and started off. I didn't occur to me how much heat the roller will create and what affect that would have on the tire. When I had finished, I looked down to see that my expensive Michelin 3 had been thrashed and that my bike frame, the trainer, and half of my apartment was now covered in little bits of rubber. Turns out they make tires especially for trainers. They are not optional. You must have a tire made to handle the heat of your trainer.
Currently, there are three main options available for trainer tires. I have tried all of them for many hours and several thousand miles each and have definitely found a favourite.
First, I should say that all of them are about the same price and are readily available online. The ones that seem to be the most common, and the one that you will most likely see in your local bike shop, is the Cycle Ops Trainer Tire. I went through three of them before I finally gave up. Among the three that I have tried, they had the worst performance. You do need to mount them so that they are facing a certain direction, and I always seemed to cock it up on the first try. They lasted for only around 750 miles before the were useless. The other problem is that as they wear down (and I'm talking only after a couple of hundred miles), they begin to squeak. For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with my derailleur. I used the standard dri-lube, moved up to a fluorinated lubricant, and then replaced the derailleur pulleys altogether. I finally enlisted the help of my wife and we determined that the noise was coming from the tire.
Thus started a daily regimen of cleaning the tire with rubbing alcohol before a work out. This reduced the squeak for the first ten miles or so, then it was back. Moral of the story: don't get the Cycle Ops tire.
The next option is the Vittoria Zafiro Pro trainer tire. First of all, it's Italian*, which is cool. It's also bright red, which is cool. The performance is much improved over the Cycle Ops. It's quieter and it lasts much longer. It is by no means silent. I can usually expect to have a bit of tire noise for the first few miles until the rubber warms up. On average you can expect at least 1,200 miles before you should think about swapping it out. I've taken one as high as about 1,400 miles, but that is really its limit. After that the tire becomes kind of sticky and grips the roller too much. I have found this tire at my local shop, but they are a little harder to find locally.
The most recent tire that I've tried is the Schwalbe Insider. Schwalbe is a German brand, and German stuff almost never sucks*. As far as durability, it's right up there with the Vittoria. But it is most definitely quieter. Unlike the Vittoria, the Schwalbe doesn't need to warm up before the performance is optimal. The downside that you need to be aware is that as the Schwalbe wears, you will see little blue bits of rubber begin to break off. It's nowhere near the level of a regular road tire, but it is more than the other two options.
To sum up: the Cycle Ops is crap, the Vittoria lasts the longest, the Schwalbe has the best performance.
* I am aware that all tires are made in factories in south-east Asia, not in Italy or Germany. But your iphone is made by slave labour in a factory in China, not in Cupertino.
Bike (Required)
This is the last of the "required" hardware elements and kind of a no-brainer. My preference is a road bike, but most trainers will accommodate other types as well. The one thing that I will say about it is this: avoid the temptation to use a crappy bike on your trainer. It's sort of like that adage that chefs always prattle off about cooking with booze: don't cook with a wine that you wouldn't drink. It's kind of the same with indoor training: don't train with a bike that you wouldn't use on the road. Even though you are in a controlled environment, you're still putting lots of strain on the bike. And since the rear tire is pretty much static, the bike frame has to take all of the punishment from your pedaling. Just look down as you are riding and you will see the frame flex back and forth with every stroke. That isn't to say that you have to drop 15k on a new Cannondale Supersix Evo, but in the long run spending a little more for your ride will ensure that you aren't constantly fixing problems.
Fan (Highly recommended)
When you are riding outdoors you are surrounded by hundreds of miles of sky and an endless supply of refreshing cool air. When you train indoors you are in a confined space with walls and a ceiling a few feet away and a small amount of air. Let's not forget that cycling is an intense form of exercise. You sweat a lot. Pretty soon your room is hot, dank, and as humid as Miami in the middle of summer (actual experience). You can open windows and doors to help, but nothing beats a high-quality fan. While not a requirement, it's worth spending $20 on.
Floor mat (Highly recommended)
When I started with the trainer, I was amazed at how much more I sweated. I didn't think much of it, but when I was finished I looked down and saw that I had left two dinner-plate-sized areas of sweat on the carpet. My wife wasn't happy. You can drop a decent amount of cash for an exercise mat, but I have found that an old bath mat works perfectly well at protecting the carpet or wood floors.
Sweat Guard (Highly recommended)
Your sweat will destroy the finish on your bike. It won't happen in a day, but over a winter of indoor training the constant stream of sweat hitting your bike frame will strip the finish and paint. There are actually a number of products that will shield your bike frame:
After already dropping good money for the trainer, I decided to go with a cheap DIY option: just wrap the top of the frame with plastic wrap. It looks really ghetto, but it protects the bike frame for just a couple of cents.
Cycling Computer (Highly recommended)
If you don't already have one, now is a good time to try it. When you are out on the road, it's easy to get a feel for how you are performing as far as distance and speed. On an indoor trainer, not so much. You are stationary. You have no idea how fast you are going. You have no idea if you are doing better than yesterday or worse. A cycling computer almost becomes a necessity. You can track any number of factors such as current speed, average speed, trip distance, cadence, etc. Being able to keep on top of this info helps to motivate me and set goals for my performance.
Again, I'm not going for a big product placement here, but I will say that I have really liked my Sigma computer. They are reasonably priced and there are lots of different models with any number of different features. Like I said before, German stuff almost never sucks. But there are lots of comparable options from other brands. The one feature that you should insist on is that the computer automatically starts and stops as you begin pedaling (some Cateye computers don't).
Clothing (Required)
Cycling shorts:
When I was a kid, I rode my bike all the time. It got me to school, to my friends house, and kept me from getting too bored during the summer. It was comfortable enough and I never had a problem with the seat.
A nice road bike is a different experience. The seat on your road bike might feel firm, but it still seems cushy enough. Once you're on the bike, it takes about two minutes worth of riding to realize that the seat on a road bike is 2.7 times harder than granite. You must wear cycling shorts with a chamois.
Like anything in cycling there are lots of options, some that are much more expensive than others. I've seen shorts sell for hundreds of dollars and some that go for around 20 bucks. I personally have used shorts from Canari and from Pearl Izumi. Also, I like to use short liners and cycling shorts. Not strictly necessary, but it gives a little extra cushioning. You will avoid discomfort and potential damage to your junk by using them. (It's also worth noting that cycling shorts are meant to be worn without underwear.)
Cycling shoes and clips:
I've never spent so much money on a pair of shoes in my life, but shelling out at least $100 on a good pair of cycling shoes is a necessity. You will avoid potential injury to your achilles and hamstring because the shoes keep your feet in the ideal position. Also, you increase your pedaling efficiency because you exert force on both the up- and down-stroke.
Cycling Socks:
Regular socks just don't cut it. Typical cotton athletic socks will lead to blisters. Again, there are lots of options with all kinds of price tags. I personally like the Nashbar brand socks. They've lasted me many many months and only cost around $3.
Cycling Gloves:
As you are on the bike, you support a good chunk of your body weight as you lean into the handle bars. After a while that pressure will lead to pain and numbness. I've heard of riders doing permanent nerve damage to their hands. Cycling gloves offer enough cushioning to prevent that. Because you are indoors, you don't need a heavy, full-fingered glove, but don't think that you can get away without using something. I've tried lots of different brands, and generally speaking all of them are fine. Currently, I use Nashbar gloves that have a crocheted upper. Their just a couple of bucks and are minimalist enough to keep me hands cool.
Clothing (Recommended)
Cycling jersey:
I've mentioned four or five times already that you will sweat a lot will training indoors. Wearing just a regular t-shirt quickly becomes uncomfortable. Cycling jersey is a great option. They are designed to wick moisture away from your body. Personally, I take issue with spending a couple of hundred dollars for a jersey. There are plenty of options online for around $20 to $30 bucks.
Headband:
Hey, it will keep the sweat out of your eyes and that's a good thing. I picked a regular one up at Sports Authority for a couple of bucks, and it works just fine. I recently tried one that is more geared towards cyclists by a company called Halo. It doesn't really absorb your sweat per se. There is a band of silicone inside the band that redirects your sweat away from your brow. It seems to work well and was only about $10.
Compression sleeves:
This one for me is really close to a requirement, in my opinion. As my workouts have gotten more intense, I have had to deal with moderate to severe leg cramping. Compression sleeves aid both in preventing cramps and decreasing recovery time by increasing blood flow to your calf muscles. Honestly, the first time that I used them not only did the cramps completely go away, but I increased my average speed by 0.50 mph over 25 miles.
I haven't tried many different brands, but I did a fair amount of research and talked to people more knowledgeable than me. I settled on CEP calf compression sleeves (German stuff almost never sucks). Other options are out there, but these have worked well for me.
Thigh compression sleeves are also available, but I haven't had issues with my thighs and have never tried felt the need to use thigh compression. But they are available.
Entertainment (Highly recommended)
Staring at a wall for an hour or two is boring. Staring at your cycling computer as hundredths of a mile tick by is boring. Indoor training is not as exciting as road training, let's be honest. Set your trainer up in front of your TV or grab your computer and put on Netflix. I've watched all the episodes of Top Gear, MASH, Star Trek TNG, and any number of other shows to fend off boredom. If you miss the feel of outdoor training, they even make DVDs of great bike rides from around the world. I personally haven't been inclined to drop 20 bucks on a DVD of some guy riding around the Tour de France route, but they are available.
Nutrition (Highly recommended)
Cycling is a hard demanding sport. Staying hydrated is important and so is fueling your body. One issue that I have had to deal with as the intensity of my rides has increased is the loss of salt.
When you sweat you lose all sorts of nutrients, notably sodium, potassium, and calcium. After a ride your electrolytes get pretty jacked up. The problem is exacerbated by drinking straight water. (Google hyponatremia) This further reduces the level of sodium in your blood. This can lead to cramping, reduced performance, and even water retention. You can avoid this by hydrating with something like Gatorade. Another option that I have used over the last few months is a product call SaltSticks. It's a supplement that has all of the nutrients that you lose as you sweat. You take a couple of caplets during and/or after your workout to help restore your electrolyte balance. It isn't the only option out there, but it has worked for me.
Post workout, you also need to feed your body to aid in recovery. After a ride the two main things that I need to eat are protein and some kind of sugar. I personally make a smoothie with at least a scoop or two of whey protein, a frozen banana, Greek yoghurt, etc. Skip this step and your blood sugar will crash and your wife will complain that you are in a really bad mood. True story.
I hope that this is useful information. Maybe it's crap. But everyone is different and these things work well for me.
Winter is coming. But don't let that keep you from cycling!
Thursday, July 31, 2014
The trip: in the beginning (Zurich and Dijon)
Early on July 14, I had my first views of France and Switzerland. Granted, they were from thousands of feet in the air in a 767 from Philadelphia to Zurich, but the excitement for our trip stated growing even more.
Ever since Wolf and I got married, we talked about going to Europe. Germany specifically for Wolf. We looked at plane prices, but nothing ever seemed to fit our schedules until this spring. We were this close to going on a spring break cruise. So close. The price was right and the destination seemed perfect. Why didn't we go? We couldn't find my pesky passport. Then and there I determined we were going to Europe that summer.
Wolf thought it was another instance of dreaming. Until we bought two tickets to Zurich on his birthday in late May. Everything came together smoothly after that. Thankfully.
We arrived in Zurich early that Monday morning. As excited travelers do, we pushed aside cases of jet lag and grogginess for the time being and began our adventure.
We took a regional train into the center of town, deposited our bags into a locker, and started exploring. Zurich apparently has few touristy things to do. We didn't mind. We were only in town for a few hours. We meandered up and down cobblestone hills, enjoyed schnecke from a local bakery, visited a beautiful church, and started feeling exhausted. We spent the last hour before our train left in the train station waiting room.
Apparently the train ride to Dijon was beautiful. I wouldn't know. I slept through most of it. We pulled into France on their Bastille Day. Everyone was out enjoying that holiday. Our hotel room was a twenty minute walk from the station. It was a cute little attic room with a shared bathroom next door and no air conditioning.
We went to sleep shortly after arriving and woke up at one to the sounds of fire crackers being set off every few minutes. They continued until three or four.
We walked to the train station when the sky was just beginning to show strains of light. The only other people out were bakers and people on morning strolls.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
These are a few of our favorite things
Friday, December 28, 2012
Fish are not animals
How did I arrive at such a conclusion? Well, I am a vegetarian. I have been one since I was about 13 years old. I admit that while I was on my mission I had to sort of go with the flow. My rule was that I would eat what was placed in front of me. That wasn't always easy. I had a few meals (for which I was very grateful, don't get me wrong) that reaffirmed my decision to go green (as it were). But aside from that it's been a long time happily getting by with salads and various soy products.
Now, in the many years of being a vegetarian I have come to an amazing conclusion: I must be one of only perhaps two or three Mormon male vegetarians in Utah Valley. I say that because if I tell someone that I don't eat meat they look at me with an absurd level of shock and bewilderment. You can see it in their expressions. Meeting a real, live vegetarian is like finding a unicorn. Who knew they actually existed?
But invariably, as soon as the shock has worn off, they all (and with the exception of my wife, I really do mean all!) ask me the same question: "Do you eat fish?" It's hysterical to me. I almost just say it upfront now: "I'm a vegetarian, and no I don't eat fish."
Now, you've been told since you were a youngster in elementary school that there is no such things as a stupid question. I don't think that that is totally correct. I have a suspicion that we just tell kids that so that they won't be afraid to ask questions. But come on, there is such a thing as a stupid question.
I think the whole "Do you eat fish?" thing definitely qualifies. Think about it. It's like if I were to say, "I don't like British pop music from the sixties." "Oh, do you like the Beatles?" Or, "I don't like American cars." "Oh, do you like Fords?" Or perhaps, "I don't like fast food." "But you must like McDonalds?"
I could go on, but you get the idea.
Does anyone actually know what a vegetarian is? The Oxford English Dictionary, which is pretty authoritative on such matters, says that a vegetarian is "a person who does not eat meat." That's pretty definitive, isn't it? Maybe the problem is that there are people who say that they are vegetarians, but really aren't. I've heard of people claiming the title of vegetarian if they only abstain from red meat. Or if they only eat chicken. Come on! That's not a vegetarian. It's sort of an all-or-nothing thing. You either are or you're not: that simple!
Can you think of any other all-or-nothing things? How about being pregnant? You're never just sort of pregnant. You're never just pregnant on the weekends. You're pregnant, and that's that.
Maybe people think that I have just forgotten about fish? I guess that's reasonable. "Oh, I'm so glad you asked me that. I thought for the last 14 years that I was a vegetarian. But thanks to your highly original question, I guess I'm not. Silly me, I'd totally forgotten about fish."
In any regards, if you disagree with my initial postulate and insist that fish are animals (and I have a nagging suspicion that they really are), then something is awry.
So, if in the slim chance that you ever meet another vegetarian, take my advice: don't ask them if they eat fish!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Passion
I adore it. First, I love that man. Second, I completely agree with what he has to say. I'm no artist (in the traditional sense), but I love making things with my hands, a tool, machine, or computer. (**Warning, if your name is Mark, Jill, Tricia, or you are my dad, you may not want to read more until after Christmas**)
This weekend, I was on a kick. Lots of Christmas presents were made for various people in my lovely family. They include the following:
I love to create things for my own home and for people I love, but I also try to incorporate creation into my classroom. I had a couple of BYU students in my classroom a couple of weeks ago and they were impressed with the number of different things my students have created. I try to have them making things all the time to encourage their own creations and to gain the love that I have.
Want to come create with me?
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Remembering
Friday August 31
This was the day I last saw my mother in her paralyzed body. Wolf and I went on an old people date. An old people date is the kind of date where you go out to dinner just after 5:00, scrutinize the list of every movie at the theater, and decide just to go home. On our way back to Orem from American Fork, I remembered I needed to pick up something from my parents' house. I am now so thankful we stopped by. We entered their computer room to find a usual scene: my mother was in the reclining green chair that she spent most her time; my father was seated on a love seat next to her, holding her hand; and Michael was next to my dad with his iPad in hand. They were playing out a stereotypical Friday evening. Friday night brought date night for my parents. This meant a movie was playing and they were holding hands. My father always held her hand if he was next to her. Wolf and I stayed for thirty minutes, chatting and watching part of The Princess Bride. I gave my love to my mother and told her how much I love teaching. The only words she uttered to me were to repeat some words my father spoke. I left her with an embrace and a kiss.
Saturday September 1
I thought of my mother in brief intervals. My day was spent making bows, grading papers, and enjoying time with three of my original best friends back in the day when they used to all live less than a three minute walk from my house. We ran into my old next door neighbor at the restaurant of our choosing. She asked about my mother (as all friends of the family did) and I replied that I would not be surprised if she passed away soon.
Sunday September 2
Wolf and I had a discussion. We tried to figure out what our procedure would be if my mother passed away. Wolf was debating whether or not to call me if she passed during the school day. I realized that I had not signed up for the Alpine District sub service. I would have no way of calling for a sub if I needed one. I determined to talk to my principal about what to do if I received the news during a school day and sign up for sub services the Tuesday school resumed.
Monday September 3
I awoke to an email my father sent in the wee hours of the morning. He mentioned that Mom seemed to have a cold--something she had been blessed with not received for many years. He sent a copy of her obituary that we had been working on for several years to see if there were any revisions we could suggest. I set it aside for the moment and determined to have a long visit with her later in the day.
Wolf, Angi, and I met up for a late breakfast of crepes in Provo. Because it took the employees way too long to get us our food, we had a nice discussion about life and random topics. After we finished eating and went to our cars, it was 11:45. We talked about what we were going to do in case of her passing. I mentioned to Angi that it would be nice for me to finish up my school day, but I would like to be home for Michael's sake. As we parted ways, I gave a prophetic statement. "Well, I might see you later this week at a funeral." I now feel ridiculous and slightly calloused for uttering that remark.
I had my phone in a loose skirt so I could not feel any vibration during our meal. As Wolf and I drove up the University Parkway hill, Wolf received a phone call. I did not know who it was, but as he answered it, I heard a girl in hysterics on the other line. After speaking for a few seconds, he roughly told me to turn around. He hung up and my heart stopped for a second. I was worried that Angi had gotten in a car accident or something (even though she had all of 200 yards to drive). "Your mother has stopped breathing."
At that moment I guess it did not impact me yet that she was dead. We had a couple close calls this summer that brought screaming police cars and ambulances to our house. Wolf asked me once or twice if I would like him to drive. I felt numbness and anxiety. We stopped by Angi's apartment. She was still in her car, sobbing. I finally looked at my phone to realize I had missed several calls and texts. Whoops. As I cursed all the road construction being done on University Avenue, we called Michael. He confirmed that she had passed. I do not remember the rest of the drive.
We pulled up to my dad's house and rushed inside to the thick feeling--and smell--of death. Wolf and I went into the study. Angi opted to stand in the doorway, out of sight of the body. Tim's family and Maria beat us to the house so there was already a small gathering of people. It really is a testament to me how different a body looks without its soul. Even in my mother's case. She was trapped in a body that did not work anymore and now that she was gone, her body looked no more than an empty shell. She was free.
Eventually, Matt's family arrived and all of us that live in Utah were gathered. The day flew by. we reminisced planned, and tears were shed. Some of her best friends dropped by to give condolences. Gentlemen from the mortuary eventually arrived in a red SUV to pick up her body. Her wheelchair was eventually moved and the green recliner she usually sat in was left untouched the rest of the day. It still held her air padding and an old fleece blanket with cats on it that Michael or Angi made years ago.
Tricia thought of food, something I had completely forgotten about. We ate Zupa's outside as we went over the plan we made for her funeral three years ago.
As I went home that evening, I looked at my plan book for Tuesday. Nearly blank. I quickly planned a days worth of lessons and went to bed, still numb.
Sleep was a rare commodity for me the rest of the week.